WAITING TO OVULATE
Come on !
Holly (Purple277) cd 6
Shari (39) DH (44)
11 years of unexplained IF. Then two babies in two years. Never. Give. Up.
BFP!! 13 DPO EDD August 28, 2012
Ryleigh was born on August 16, 2012!
BFP!! 12 DPO EDD September 20, 2014
Colton was born on September 4, 2014!
Nathaniel Jeremiah ~ 13w3d ~ 10.19.2008 ~ We love you always... Chickadee ~ 5w1d ~ 10.31.2009 ~ Thank you for trying, little one...
Last page of July thread.
Shar - nice job on the August header! I tried to check your chart to see if you are still in DPO land or not...said I didn't have access to it. I never make it to 14 dpo unless I'm but, I know my LP is on the shorter side...Update please!
AFM - CD 2 here. Called the RE to schedule my SHG. They didn't call me back until late in the afternoon when I was outside, so they left a vm for me to come in tomorrow for the test & more blood work. The RE told me I could get all the blood work done that day of my 1st appt, but now they added the CD 3 bloodwork to my testing? And how can they inject my uterus with saline solution and do the u/s when is still here?? I thought they were supposed to wait until she was gone, but before O. So confused, I have to call first thing and see what they want me to do.
Agh, love the "Triple Threats" etched in the sand!! Nice job, Shar! Where did you take that?
Ramona--That's really confusing about whether they can do the SHG tomorrow...no idea. Good luck finding out first thing tomorrow. You said you started spotting at 7 dpo. What is typical for you? Sometimes I'll have a month that is really weird like that. Let us know if you make an acu appt!
KiwiJen-- I'm so sorry you're having a tough time. GRRR on the tiny houseguest--she needs to keep her undies well hidden away! It seems like you're always waiting months for appts...
Lea--thanks for dropping by!
Jen--thanks. It's interesting to hear people's experiences w/ B6.
Amy--good to know that you liked Bend, Breathe, and Conceive. I'm really looking forward to trying it. I was going to do it tonight but think I might wait until tomorrow morning.
Michelle--thanks for the book rec--I get overwhelmed easily, too.
Sammy--are you getting ready for your trip? When do you go?
AFM-- Just had a tough convo with my sis. I'd been feeling like I hadn't had a chance to discuss why I'd been angry with her, and it was still bothering me, so I called her to talk about it. She said that talking to me is like walking around a minefield and I'll just keep getting mad at her so it might be better if we don't talk much now. Wow, really? I'm just stunned that this is the kind of non-support I'm getting. Since my m/c, I've brought up ttc/miscarriage issues maybe once every 4-6 weeks and every time felt like she didn't want to listen to me and was uncomfortable, so my resentment has been building for a while. I just don't understand how hard it is to listen and be empathetic.
Anyway. Had the shortest period ever, thank you B6. I confess that despite the positive effects of it, I'm trying to stay off it this month to see if my ovary pain goes away. I'm CD7 and the pain is starting back up to gear up for ovulation, so I might start B6 again bc if feel like it wasn't the cause of the pain. Although 7 days off of it might not be enough for me to know anything...never said this was a scientific experiment!
Me-34, DH-40TTC since August '09 2/9/10, dx at 7 weeks (blighted ovum)TTCA for 9 cycles from 4/10-12/10, no BFPs.Bloodwork, HSG, & SA were normal (tested in fall '10). Stage II endo was excised via laparoscopy on 1/19/11.Started TTC again in 3/11, 5 cycles all BFNsJuly 2011: 1st IUI + letrozole (IUI cancelled) = BFP 9/9/11, dx at 7 weeksCurrently TTA until we find out more info
If you're 30+, TTC#1 after loss(es), come drop by the Triple Threats for some tea & sympathy (over here...)
Just checking in on all of you
Hey, Jen! Glad to see you again. Sorry about all the issues . I vote west coast, too!
Someone wanted more details on the sperm dna fragmentation test. Check out the website http://www.scsadiagnostics.com/index.cfm If you look under News and Human Research, there is a whole list of journal articles on the topic, including studies on how sperm DNA fragmentation can affect fertility and pregnancy outcome.
As for how to fix a problem if the test shows lots of fragmentation, visit the "causes" link. We went on Proxeed, it's expensive, but I have a 15-month-old son now after four losses in a row. Whether or not that was the reason, or if it was something else I did (acupuncture, diet changes, herbs, vitex (Fertility Blend), etc.), or just luck, I'll never know, but I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
Good luck and boatloads of babydust to all!
Oh, and someone also had to deal with rude questions... I found that the best way to shut someone up for good (say, a coworker that you have to deal with every day) was to be very blunt. So, whenever someone would ask when we were going to have a sibling for Eric (I had a loss, then my first son, then four more losses before I was able to have another successful pg), I'd say something like "whenever my babies live long enough to be born" or something like that. It's not for everyone, but it was effective! If the latest loss were recent, I couldn't really say anything without tearing up, but that just made it even more effective. It gets the message out.
Hugs to all.
Holly - 7 dpo is the earliest I have started spotting, usually it starts 8-10 dpo and I have a 11-12 day LP. I am so sorry to hear that your sister is so unsupportive. It really sucks that you can't even confide in your family for emotional support through all of this. DH and I have not told any of our family what we are going through right now. We have told 3 other couples we are friends with and our pastor. One thing I have noticed in myself is that I have much higher standards for sensitive treatment from those that know our situation than those who have no clue. So the comments and lack of support hurt more coming from them. I can only imagine how much worse it would be coming from a sister. Is she always like that around tough issues, or do you think she just has no clue how to respond so she's avoiding?
Teresa - thanks for the info on sperm DNA fragmentation. I'll definately ask the RE about that. And thanks for your advice on how to deal with the rude questions and comments. One of these days I'll get up the courage to put someone in their place!
AFM - So I had the CD 3 blood work yesterday. 3 vials - TSH, FSH, prolactin, blood type, maybe some other things, didn't get a good look at the paperwork. I know for a fact that the RE didn't tell me about CD3 bloodwork, she said we could get all the blood work done the day we were there 2 weeks ago, so it was a suprise and I was getting paranoid that something was off from the last round and they needed more results. I know they tested prolactin the first time around too, but I think that's normal for CD3 tests.They also did the SHG even though AF was still in full force. It was not a pleasant experience. The nurse messed up and asked me to come in for a regular u/s but didn't realize until I got there that I needed the SHG. The RE went ahead with it instead of asking me to come back since it was their screw up. DH was there and it was pretty messy & embarassing (Sorry, TMI), but he took everything pretty well. I told him it was just practice for the real thing! The SHG results were good - uterus shape is normal and my ovaries are normal. Even though he said I had follicular cysts, he still said he'd classify them as normal. The office said I'd get the results of everything when I have my follow up appt with the RE which isn't for another 7 weeks. Thinking I should call them in another week or so and see if they'll give me the blood test numbers over the phone. Worth a shot!
Hi everyone, I just joined the group and wanted to introduce myself. I'm Sarah, 35 and have recently had two early pregnancy losses. We started TTC in November 2009, and I went on Clomid in May 2010. This was after we did the standard infertility work up (including SA) and all was normal, except for possibly low progesterone. They tested me on CD 22 and it was low, but my cycles (unmedicated) are only about 25 days, so that could be why it was low. As soon as I went on Clomid (and progesterone suppositories) I got pregnant that month, but it turned out to be a chemical pregnancy. The next month, got pregnant again, but they suspected that it was ectopic after my betas went from 13 DPO = 29, 16 DPO = 50, 18 DPO = 41, 20 DPO = 58, 24 DPO = 90.
They gave me methotrexate to terminate the pregnancy (1 week ago) and now we are in a holding pattern, told by the doctor that we need to wait 3 months before trying again. They did not do an ultrasound to confirm whether it was ectopic or not because, whether it was ectopic or not, something obviously wasn't going right with the pregnancy. I've started acupuncture and am trying to use this time to get in shape and work on my diet. I am going back to the doctor to discuss next steps in one week, can you all give me some advice about what questions in particular to ask. She mentioned something about having me get an HSG at the end of our three month waiting period (but I was a little distracted after she told me about the methotrexate). Any suggestions are greatly appreciated. Its great to know that there are groups out here like this. Thanks in advance
Me (38), DH (42)
TTC #1 for 14 months, charting for 10 months, acupuncture, chinese herbs, fish oil, Spirulina. IUI #1 w/ Clomid - chemical pregnancy, IUI #2 with injectables - BFP at 11DPO, Beta #1 @ 14DPO - 441, Beta #2 @ 16DPO - 915, Beta #3 @ 18 DPO - 1665, Beta #4 @ 20 DPO - 2856.
TTC#2 - IUI #1 with 37.5iu Gonal-F - BFN, IUI #2 with 75iu Gonal-F - BFN, BFP at 11DPO on last cycle before starting IVF. Beta #1@ 12DPO - 300, Beta #2@ 14DPO - 840, Beta #3@ 16DPO - 1550, Beta #4 @ 18DPO - 2822.
TTC#3 - Started June 2013, IUI#1 with 75iu Gonal-F BFN. IVF#1 September 2013 - Lupron Stop Protocol Continually told 4-6 follicles during stimming, but at ER retrieved 12 eggs, 10 fertilized. 1/2 ICSI, 1/2 natural fertilization. 2 hatching blasts transferred on Day 5. BFP on HPT on 6pt5dt (11DPO), Beta #1@ 9dp5dt(14 dpo) - 282, Beta #2@ 11dp5dt(16 dpo) - 846, doubling time 30 hours, Beta #3@13dp5dt (18dpo) - 2007, 38.5 hour doubling time. First Ultrasound at 5w3d, it's twins! . Heartbeats seen at 6w3d. Twin A lost at 9 weeks. It's a
June & December 2010, February 2012 chemicals, July 2010 5 weeks 6 days, suspected ectopic
Ramona, YAY! for normal uterus and ovaries. They told me I had to wait until AF was over before the SHG, I can't imagine how it was during AF!
Sarah, welcome to the Threats! Sorry you qualify to join, but this is a great group of women. I'm guessing they want the HSG to check out your tubes because of the suspected ectopic. (Personally, I would have insisted on an u/s, just because you can't TTC again for at least 3 months after the methotrexate, and you can't ignore that time limit.) The acupuncture and getting in shape/ working on a healthy diet is a good idea.
As for questions, first of all, do you chart? That is, do you know if you have a short luteal phase or a short follicular phase? It sounds like you had a good response to the Clomid. Were you on clomid again when you conceived the second time? (I'd guess not, as usually they want you to wait a cycle after a loss, but every dr is different.)
Hi to the rest of you beautiful women, love and babydust to all!
Sarah--I'm so sorry for your losses. You've found a good group here but I'm sorry you qualify for us. Holding patterns are so tough but it sounds like you're making the best of a really tough situation, with your working on your diet and exercise. I'm not much help in providing questions for you to ask...are you going to do Clomid after the 3 months is up?
Teresa--you're a wealth of information. I had no idea men could take meds for DNA fragmentation. That's good to know.
Ramona--That's great that your uterus and ovaries are normal! Coming from someone with a heart-shaped uterus and finding the worst case scenarios about that on google, you just want normal. The SHG sounds super embarassing but glad DH took it well--good job Mr. SBR! Hmm, it does seem like you shouldn't have to wait 7 weeks to hear the results. I'd definitely call ahead, too.
My sister is usually very supportive in tough times but she has her own ideas about how long you're supposed to be sad about things--I think my time has run out-- and just thinks I should be handling things differently (like not be frustrated by TTC? I don't know. She has 2 kids resulting from cycle 1 of trying both times and 0 m/cs so she really can't relate). I think that she feels like I should be feeling awesome right about now and she's sick of having to handle me w/ kid gloves about baby topics--I think she's trying to force them on me because she's the big sister and she knows what's best for me. It really hurts but it especially hurt when she said we probably shouldn't talk at all right now because I'm just too sensitive--that stings. Yeah, I have much higher standards for sensitivity in people I've told, too. Do you find your 3 couple friends to be sensitive and supportive?
AFM--I'm CD10 so gearing up for I'm giving up my 6 oz of coffee/day this month and trying to convince myself that decaf teas are just as good. It's actually been easier than I thought. I think I just like having something hot and soothing when I start work in the morning.
Happy almost Friday!
Sarah - I am sorry for your losses , but glad that you have found this group for support. I am also in a holding pattern, after testing for recurrent m/c, my RE doesn't want us to TTC until the results come back, which is in another 7 weeks. We actually stopped on our own after m/c #2 to try to get some answers, so it will end up being a 4 month layoff. It is really frustrating, especially if you have to stop because of the medication. When you go back to the doctor, you can ask for recurrent pregnancy loss testing. There may be some specific things that cause early m/c that aren't part of the normal infertility workup. There are some clotting disorders that can cause implantation to fail, autoimmune things they can test for, etc. I would imagine they want to do the HSG to see if your tubes are clear after the ectopic, but I have also heard that the procedure can help open a sticky tube, so maybe that is why they want to wait until the end of your 3 months to do it.
Holly - yeah, I can see how it would sting to get that message from your sister. I don't know her, but it sounds like maybe she's uncomfortable with your struggles and is using her big sister card to try to push you towards getting over it. I am the big sister in my family and have pulled that card before, but only on stupid stuff that they need to mature about. And definately haven't done that in the last 10 years since we are all adults now. Good luck with the caffeine. I had cut almost all caffeine out when we started TTC, but its creeping back in as we are TTA now. Need to keep it in control so its not as hard to cut back again in a couple months. is so good! Its funny that you should mention our friends and if they are supportive. DH and I were just discussing that topic today. As a general statement, I'd have to say no, not even close to what we would hope for from our close friends. But its hard since all of them have new babies and sometimes they can't see past their own joy to know or notice the pain we are in. One couple in particular has been demonstrating that they either don't want to have a deeper friendship where they support us in bad times, or they are incapable of providing emotional support for other people. Its a tough thing to have to back away from people like that, but it really feels like its a burden on us to have them involved instead of being a relief on us. I hold the people we've told to a higher standard, to be more sensitive, to check up on how I'm doing, to ask about how the doc visits go, not make hurtful comments etc. But they don't all live up to that, and some less than others. I feel like this group is more supportive than my friends, and you guys don't even really *know* me! So many thanks to everyone...
Ramona, that's really disappointing that your friends aren't providing the support you need. Have any of them had problems conceiving or m/cs? I've been feeling lately like I need to find some deeper meaning or something positive out of all the struggling I've been doing this year, and one way I'm sure I've changed for the better is that I'm sure I'll be better equipped to help friends in the future who are dealing with hard times and losses, esp m/cs. People just really can't seem to grasp it if they haven't been through it. Well, and there are some people who have been through it and come through unfazed--my SIL just told me she m/ced around 4 weeks recently and she said it was no big deal. Maybe it helps that she had no problems conceiving her first 3 children and this is the first time she's had a m/c, but in any case, it felt like she was trying to minimize my loss--like, "I've been through it and it's no big deal so grow up."
Maybe you need to pull away a bit from these friends and you can reconnect with them more later? I don't know. I have problems getting past the anger at people who aren't being supportive and end up pulling away, for better or worse. I know I can't exactly do that with my sis so I'm left not knowing what to do.
I think coffee is a must while you're TTA--hope it's not too hard to cut out again later. It is the best. I'm a huge coffee snob.
Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend!
p.s. I don't mean to minimize my SIL's loss because every loss is tough. I just suspect there's less fear wrapped up in the grief when you've had many successful pregnancies and no previous losses.
p.s. I don't mean to minimize my SIL's loss because every loss is tough. I just suspect there's less fear wrapped up in the grief when you've had many successful pregnancies and no previous losses.
I agree. I was once "consoled" by a professor at my university. She has grown children and grandchildren, and she informed me that after she was "finished her family" she had a surprise pregnancy that she lost early, but she couldn't remember what week. So she knew what I was going through, but I needed to buck up and get my coursework finished on time - extensions were for people in "catastrophic" situations.
Good #^&%@ grief. Was she serious? She couldn't remember what week she was in? I guess if it was an oops after 5 kids, you wouldn't be counting the days, but I sure as was. Every day, every hour. I knew exactly how far along I was for each one. I knew what size they were, whether they were a fetus or still an embryo, what each and every symptom was... I was more pregnant in those few short weeks than a lot of women are for the whole nine months.
Never even mind that I'd already been waiting 8 years just for the first one... oh, boy I have to really steel myself not to hate people who have had their children easily. It's hard as it is, but they so often have such flippant, superior attitudes! Just makes me want to open a can of whup-a$$ all over their smug selves.
I'll be back later for proper personals. Been a rough week and an even rougher weekend.
Shari-- Sorry about the rough week. Yeah, I sure as heck knew what day I was all the time, too. Your professor was really insensitive and I'm sorry you were "consoled" in such a crappy way. It is really hard to deal with people like that.
Had some mini freakouts about TTC yesterday that turned into insomnia at night. I'm such a zombie now. I get so anxious sometimes and it can spiral out of control into crying and insomnia.
Holly - One of my friends had trouble conceiving - she was ttc 5 yrs w/ endo, no m/c, had her baby on 1st IVF cycle. She is understanding about all the testing and knows that a m/c is devastating, but she tends to say things that trivialize what I am feeling, like "oh, I'm sure its progesterone, its such an easy fix. you'll be fine. Abby (her daughter) needs a friend." She got through her situation by having a overtly optimistic outlook on everything so I think she just translates that to me, even though it doesn't make me feel better. Another friend got pg her first cycle off BCP and has her daughter now. Another friend got pg after 2 months of trying and has her daughter now. The one friend who got pg her first try has said some very hurtful things like "oh, you were trying for 5 months, that's not so bad. You know, pregnancy isn't all its cracked up to be either." Or completely ignoring the subject, leaving the room when it comes up, changing the subject multiple times if me or DH are talking to her husband about what's going on. DH finally got fed up with trying to make excuses for them (he is more tolerant than me) that we have both agreed to step back from that friendship for a while. I have also been told "well, at least you know you can get pg" which is not helpful, because I don't know if I can ever STAY pg.
I do think that each person handles loss(es) differently, there is no right or wrong way. But it is wrong to assume that everyone else has to handle it like you. Its ok if some people aren't devastated. Its ok if I was. Its individual. And I think that a person's life experiences, including previous babies or losses all play into our reactions.
Sorry to hear about your TTC freakout and insomnia last night Hope you are feeling a bit better now. We are here if you need to vent.
Shar - what?!? How rude of your professor. that is awful, I'm sorry that you went through that. Sorry to hear you've been having a rough time. We are here to listen!
AFM - something really weird/freaky happened today. Last week I was having issues with my phone, the text message symbol always said I had an unread message but I didn't. I ended up deleting all of the old messages to get it to go away. Then today, I was texting DH and some old messages popped up in my text history. It was only texts that I sent to him (none of his replies) on March 18th - which was the first day I knew I was pg the first time. Before I started spotting, those blissful 12 hours before my world started to fall apart. WF - either my phone is possessed, the universe is trying to remind me of what happened and throw salt in the wound, or its a sign that someday I could be happy like that again. It was only my sent messages on just that ONE day. How weird is that?? Anyway, it was upsetting to see that unexpectedly in the middle of the day at work.
Hugs all around, Shar, Ramona, Holly, and anyone else that needs one.
Praying that you will all get that sticky pg soon.
Ramona--I didn't see your post until today--sometimes I miss them. That royally s*&ks (not sure what language we can use here) about your phone!! Agh, I can't believe that happened, that it was screwing with you like that. It is very hard to get reminders of that time. I was blissfully pregnant over Christmas this year, then started to spot on 12/30, and I can't stand to think of Christmastime. I accidentally opened a folder with Christmas pics today and couldn't look at them.
"Abby needs a friend." Wow, that is so uncool. That would have my anger really bubbling! And "pregnancy isn't all it's cracked up to be." OMG. Slap! That's along the same lines as my sister's "babies are just a lot of work, anyway." I know what you mean about your friend's positive outlook not being helpful. When we first started TTC, DH's bro's wife started buying me baby stuff the MONTH WE STARTED TRYING (she "just knew" we were pregnant that first month--we weren't) and saying stuff like "it will only take a few months!" I know that outlook worked for her and it does only take her a couple of months every time, but all the baby stuff was just reminders of what I didn't have when it wasn't happening immediately (not that it took me a long time, but still).
I think it's a good idea to step away from that one friendship for a while. It sounds like she is being really insensitive.
Oh, Ramona, what's the name of your yoga tape? I recommend Bend, Breathe, and Conceive! It's a good mix of relaxing plus a little challenging. It has a shorter workout portion than I'm used to and longer relaxation portion, and it's really nice and chill. I did it 3X last week and I'm a little burned out on it now--gotta mix it up!
Shar--what CD are you? I'm sorry if AF is around.
AFM--I got a fertility massage on Sunday! My friend does pelvic points that stimulate the reproductive organs (ovaries, I guess). You're only supposed to do it pre-o. I guess I today. My pattern seems to be having a + OPK the day after my best CM--is that common? And I have zero sex drive starting on the +OPK day (today).
We're going to the beach on Sunday and my whole fam will be there. I haven't talked to my sis since the "you're a minefield, let's not talk anymore" proclamation and I don't know what to do from here. I know we need to talk but it was such a disaster last time that I'm going back to old habits and avoiding it. Maybe it will be better to talk in person at the beach? I'm hoping that it's harder to hurt each other's feelings in person.
I found out I was way overdue on my annual at the gyn (have NO idea how that could happen because I was at the doctor all the time from Jan-April) and it's scheduled for 8/23, by which time I will have my period (most likely), pregnant (less likely), or having a record-setting LP length (not likely). It took me 6 weeks to get the appt! Ugh. I guess I'll call tomorrow and see if they can still see me during AF.
to you guys!
Happy Friday everyone!
Holly - my yoga DVD is called Restoring Fertility Yoga. Its a 4 dvd set that you do during the different phases of your cycle - menstrual, follicular, ovulatory, & luteal. Its nice that it keeps changing so I don't get bored. How is the 2ww treating you?Maybe your sister will feel more comfortable talking to you if she sees that you are not always a minefield? Maybe that would be a place to start with her, at least to talk and show her that you are still the Holly she knows. She might not ever be able to talk to you about ttc & m/c, but she might come around. Hope you get everything straight with your annual appt. My doctor's office calls 6 months out to schedule them, so there's not a good way to plan around AF. I think I might have her for my appt in Oct, so I may need to reschedule.
AFM - still TTA. I read somewhere that follicular cysts can be treated with progesterone. Makes me wonder if I just don't have enough of my own to prevent me from getting them in the first place. Two people at work asked me this week when I was going to have kids. I had one employee come back from maternity leave on Wednesday and then proceed to give me the whole story about how giving birth was "gross", how breastfeeding "hurts so much" and said, "Just wait until you have kids." Are you kidding me? Had to cut that one short. I would have said something equally rude back to her, but its her first day back to work after having PPD, so I didn't want to set her off again.Tonight DH and I are heading up to New Hampshire to go hiking on Saturday at Mt Washington. We are staying overnight to get an earlier start in the morning. We are going with another couple - one that doesn't have kids(!!) so hopefully it will be a break from all the rude comments and baby talk.
Ramona--hope you're having a great time in NH! Sounds fun. A trip with people without kids is perfect. Your coworker's comments-- I'm very sorry that she has PPD, but really! So thoughtless. Do your follicular cysts give you any symptoms?
Yeah, I think you're right about my sister needing to see that I can still be fun and "normal." My psychiatrist said the same thing as you about that! I think you're also right that we may never be able to talk about TTC and m/c stuff, and I need to be ok with that.
I might look into getting your yoga DVDs. Actually, I still need to try out another loaner yoga DVD first. I just love having multiple DVDs around so that it's not as boring, and it's cool that yours comes as a set.
AFM--We're leaving for the beach tomorrow and I'm not going to temp there. It's 2ww (or 1.5ww in my case), anyway, and I don't want to overanalyze my temps on vacay--"are they triphasic?" etc. The 2ww grumps are definitely in place but hopefully the beach will relax the grumps away.
Hope everyone has a nice week if I can't check in! I think I'll have internet so I might pop in.